Shock!

I am still in shock!  The ever-lovely Audrey Knight wrote to me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently, about two weeks ago (thank you, "smart" phone, for not letting me know), Ms. Knight sent me an email, sweetly thanking me for my blog post about her.  I just made an attempt to write back, but as predicted, my brain was going in too many directions, and I probably sent her an unintelligible heap of syntax.  I am so flattered, so enormously blown away that she even took the time to write to me--let alone the fact that my crush on her has now grown even more!

Although I've always, since my discovery of the spanking world on the internet, enjoyed her work (and her incredible eyes), my adoration for her was really established while reading the blog in which she was writing.  She was eloquent, intelligent, and sincere.  Through her writing, she displayed some of who she is, and it was that someone I came to venerate.

The mind is like outer space--immeasurably vast, with innumerable different objects moving through it.  Each planet, each orb flying through is a thought (as happens in space, those thoughts are often orbiting a single idea, and there are countless "solar systems" of ideas).  On each one of these thought-spheres, one single grain of sand is a word we use to try to represent that planet-sized thought.  Because of this, the words we choose are both vastly important, and pitifully insignificant.  This is the reason we never completely know what others are trying to say.  We communicate more through our empathy & telepathy, using the words as guidelines.

Because of this, I have great admiration for those who can convey meaning with words.  Writing is, unfortunately, becoming less and less prevalent of a skill in our society, worldwide.

SO...

Brava, my dear Ms. Knight!  I hope you know that it is not just your wicked palm and your stunning beauty that are admirable--it is your mind and your soul even more so!

<3

(I mean, really?  Who wouldn't fall instantly in love with this girl???)

Heartbroken!

I just found out some horrible, horrible news.  I'm a bit surprised to have taken so long to learn that, sometime near the end of 2012, Audrey Knight retired from the spanking scene!!!  Apparently, Armageddon DID occur in 2012!

For some time, I've been meaning to write a post about the fact that I have an enormous crush on Audrey Knight.  I had wanted to first organize the photos & video clips that I've found of her and her work, but have yet to do so.

I have a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE crush on Audrey Knight!!!!!  Yes, I know I just wrote that, but it bears repeating.  I am devastated.  I don't get starstruck (I meet so many celebrities through work), but she's one of the very few untouchables I dream of meeting.  I'm sure my introverted self would clam up, keep me tongue tied, and eventually cause me to blurt out some unintelligible nonsense that would leave me with a lifelong embarrassment.  Even so, the opportunity to see those incredible eyes in person would literally be a dream-come-true.

If you've read my "First Spanking Story" post, you've probably figured out by now that Audrey Knight was the female character; the subject of my thoughts that inspired my fantasy.  She's probably the main reason I realized I'm a switch.  Hers are the first videos of a woman spanking men that I ever cared to watch.  I can't take my eyes off her.  I find her incredibly gorgeous--especially those big eyes!!  She's feminine, sexy, adorable, intelligent, passionate, caring, and strong--and these are just the qualities that are evident to me from what little I've seen of her on video, and especially in her writing.

I'll miss her, and I've never even met her. 

 :'(

A Quickie...

...to get the blog ball rolling again.

I've just finished watching the first season of "Ghost Whisperer".  I had seen a smattering of episodes during its five season run, and have wanted, for some time, to watch them all. 

Despite her eye-candy status, Jennifer Love-Hewitt's character, Miranda, is often very bratty in the show, and occasionally very selfish.  Clearly, she needs a good session over her husband's lap, with the household hairbrush.  Sadly, this never happens (at least in the first season)...but I can dream, can't I?

I was, however, giddily delighted during the next-to-last episode when, after her husband makes a wonderful, terrible pun, Miranda says to him, "You know what? I am gonna spank you, and hard!"

Of course my imagination went wild!!!!

I'll leave you with that image, and these:

FINALLY!

I'M BACK!!!! 

...kind of.

Sometime back in February, my dinosaur computer decided it was "too old for this shit", and crashed.  After a couple of weeks, I managed to bring it back to life, by giving it a "pacemaker"--installing a new power source.  Even then, it would wheeze and gasp to life, and pass out at random.  Finally, it truly died.  I had to order a new computer--I paid for express delivery, but the computer finally SHIPPED OUT on the day it was supposed to ARRIVE, and was checked in in Mexico the day AFTER it was supposed to be in NYC!  I finally got it, and have been desperately trying to learn windows 8.1 (having had XP for the last 10 years).  A week ago, I was finally able to take in my old hard drive, to have the info on it rescued (the old dinosaur would die every time I tried to back it up).  It took a week (rather than the 1-2 days promised), and I picked it up today.  $140 later, I have *most* of the "personal" info off the old hard drive.  Unfortunately, I have lost my entire Bookmarks list!!!!!!  I have the old Explorer list, but, apparently, I would have to upload it ONE SITE AT A TIME!!!!!!  I also lost a $600 music writing program.

....soooooo please forgive my absence, and pardon me in advance for the slow pace I will be returning to this blog.  It's going to take a while for me to get back on my virtual feet.

Cane-iac

I don't remember on which day, but my new toys arrived!!  It's been such a hellacious week that I haven't had the mental stability to write about them, so they've sat here, tauntingly, on my computer desk.

Firstly, I'd like to say what a pleasure it was to order from Cane-iac.  Their website, www.cane-iac.com, was easy to maneuver and made placing the order painless.  As I mentioned in the last post, my order was in the mail before noon the next day (how remarkable--and rare--is that???)!  They packaged their products discretely and safely--I live in New York City, where the local post offices' mottoes include, "What's in that???", "Let's hide this!", and "It may not be breakable, but we're damn sure gonna try!!"  On top of that, Cane-iac's products are both interesting and of good quality (at least so far).

The strap I ordered is beautiful.  Strappings are not my favorite type of spankings, but I can't wait to use this!!!  The sound it makes is delicious--not fake sounding; it doesn't take the place of the melody of leather meeting flesh at a rapid pace, but does enhance that stinging lullaby.  The flaps are flexible and thick, and the handle fits perfectly in my hand.

The red rubber paddle was surprising.  I was expecting a solid paddle, either of firm rubber, or covered in rubber, as is a ping-pong paddle.  Instead, it is a very flexible paddle made entirely of coarse rubber.  The flat side is grainy, and the opposite face has significant raised squares, and is even more coarse, being composed of larger rubber granules.  The most surprising thing about the paddle, though, is that it is probably my most painful paddle yet!  It's heavy and adamantly firm, even in its floppy flexibility.  It is definitely a tool to be used in a punishment spanking, rather than for fun.

All in all, I'm extremely satisfied with both process & products.  I highly recommend patronizing Cane-iac, and will be doing so again in the near future!

New Toys!!!

After years of hearing the name, I FINALLY took a look through Cane-iac.com--a website that sells spanking implements.  I was AMAZED at how inexpensive their products are!  Usually, every authentic spanking item I find is quite expensive.  I won't let myself spend large amounts of money on toys that I never get to use anyway (alas!).  Yesterday, however, I placed an order through Cane-iac.  Already, before noon today, my order was shipped!!!!  I'm eagerly awaiting my new toys:

Red Rubber Paddle

Smooth on one side, and has raised squares on the other for two different effects.  It is 3" wide, 1/2" thick and 12" long (including handle portion).

Apparently, this paddle can be put in a dishwasher.








This paddle was only NINE DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!










Also, I've been wanting to buy a strap, so I bought this one:


Leather Flapper - Double Leather Strap

it's 2 inches wide, and just over 14 inches long (including handle). The straps are separated to affect the sound of its use (I'm very into the psychology of spanking...), and this strap is supposed to be heavy.











I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THEY ARRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...Now I just need to find someone to use them on.......

(or who will use them on me.......)

My Bottom

One of the most sensitive erogenous zones on my body is my bottom.  Walking around my apartment, I often find my hand automatically caressing it (and occasionally smacking it)--especially when wearing something thin or soft (or nothing at all).  I have had very few (...any?) lovers who've realized how much I enjoy, if not crave, to be touched or caressed there.  I think most of the girls I've been intimate with have been selfish lovers, aside from those who simply had no experience, and were too afraid, and unaware, of even their own sexuality.

Here's a little relationship hint for everyone, experienced or not:  generally, the things your lover will try with you, and the places they'll explore on you, are the same things they like themselves!!!  Even before I finally accepted my occupation with spanking, no lover of mine could possibly have been unaware of how much I like bottoms.  My eyes explore them.  My hands worship them.  I have trouble keeping my eyes & hands off of them.  Yet, it has been exceedingly rare for anyone I've been with to remotely try the same with me, even in the most intimate of moments.  Admittedly, most of my lovers have been overly submissive, wanting me to control everything about their sex life (if not their entire life).  For those of you who think that's what the dominant/submissive lifestyle is about, you couldn't be more wrong!  According to the Oxford Dictionary, "submit" is defined as: "accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person".  That does not mean to sacrifice who and what you are to someone, it means to choose to do their will despite yourself.  Some of the most boring sexual experiences of mine, or told to me by others, included statements like, "do whatever you want to me." (sounds like it could be fun...without active participation by BOTH participants, it's not!); and "I like everything you do to me" (the worst answer possible to the question, "what do you want me to do?").  A dominant is not dominant to someone who's merely limp.  That becomes tantamount to masturbation, using another person's body.  There's no passion, no joyous frivolity, no excitement, no love...no point.  One lover I had--the last girl I've had sex with, who was a vanilla lover, b.t.w.--gave me nothing during sex; no hint of excitement: not a single gasp of breath, not a single movement of her own--let alone a gesture of reciprocation--not a hint of a request or preference...no signs of enjoyment whatsoever.  She was the kind of girl who, when asked, "did you like that?" (about anything) would only answer, "maybeeeee...?".  Frankly, it was (...get ready for this) bad sex (yes, folks, it does exist)!

Take my advice:  pay attention to what your lover does to you, and try at least something similar on them.  Likewise, if you like something done to you, try it on them (or just come out and tell them!!!), so they can be inspired to do it to you.  Otherwise, you might end up being the person someone is describing as a bad lover in a blog.  Of course, it would be better if we all could just speak freely about what we like and desire, but apparently that is unacceptable most of the time.  That is why we blog.

...And rub your partner's bottom.  Almost everyone will love it!

(This is mine, by the way...)

The.......end!  

Pun intended

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