I am a huuuuuuuge fan of Netflix. Before its inception, I payed enough in Blockbuster late fees to open up my own video store--most often because the employees didn't bother to check in my returns before the system automatically notated them as "late". I did a celebratory dance--complete with a bonfire, loin cloth, and tribal markings--the day I joined Netflix.
Okay...maybe I'm exaggerating, but I'm sure I at least wiggled with glee.
ANYWAY...
My latest Netflix DVD (I still do the DVD's; no streaming) was "R.I.P.D." It was a decent movie--part "Men In Black", part "Ghost", part any-comical-cop-movie-you've-ever-seen. I'm a fan of Ryan Reynolds; I usually like him, even when I don't like a movie in which he appears. Alternatively, I'm not much of an acolyte for Jeff Bridges--on this occasion, he (not quite sincerely) plays an Old-Western lawman, speaking unclearly, with something of a speech impediment (in an attempt to depict a colloquial twang). He does, however utter one line that ignited my fascination. Somewhat off-the-cuff, he implies that Reynolds's character has just incurred "Total humiliation. Pants-down spankin' at the supermarket."
It was some time before I could release that image: the idea of witnessing someone else's, or having a loving, maternal figure actually bare my bottom for a punishment spanking in the middle of such a public venue. The juxtaposition of this personally humiliating experience, taking place as a situation that is not uncommon--observed by surrounding patrons, yet not demanding everyone's attention, being a commonplace occurrence (as the flippant delivery of the dialogue suggested...and as my own limited memory of such childhood actualities indicates). The subsequent emotional cliff-diving created by both the continued shopping with a burning behind and tear-streaked face, and the now poignant awareness that others around know what just happened.
The entire scenario is decidedly delicious to me and my spanking aesthetic. Even now, I long not only for such a sincere eventuality, but the innocence to fully experience it.
A boy can dream, right?
