I happened to be in the neighborhood, so I wandered into Zabar's to see what I could see. I found a couple of items I wanted, so I started to actually look for the things I've been needing, including more wooden spoons (for baking....really!). I did find a couple of spoons I liked, but I also found this one--one that I have no culinary use for ;) --and I couldn't leave the store without purchasing one of my very own:
Holey Wooden Spoon
Length: 1’, 3 ½” head
Width: 2 5/8th” at widest
Diameter of hole: 7/8th”
Smooth bamboo; sturdy, not too light.
As you can see, one side is scooped (but fairly flat), and the other side is consistent with the handle; smooth, but slightly rounded. It is heavy enough to be potent, but light enough to be agile.
This object of spankophilic beauty has been residing on my intensely cluttered desk, filling me with bubbling glee, as well as contemplative questions and propositions. If you've been reading my babbling prose, you'll be aware that I have a deep infatuation, if not addiction to at least the idea of sincere punishment spanking--my thoughts cover the concept at varying age ranges. I have never been spanked with an implement such as this one, and in large part, I strongly desire such a punishment. Just looking down at this smooth bamboo beauty fills my imagination with images of a lovely, loving woman firmly--sometimes angrily--commanding me to lie across her lap; sometimes before, and sometimes after baring my bottom.
These fantasies had me questioning why I crave a discipline spanking at all. I do not particularly like the pain of a spanking (okay...I do at first...). I do not wish to mistreat someone; hurt them or make them angry with me. I dislike confrontation--that is a part of the answer! I desire the freedom of being dominated, but in a setting that is realistic to me. I wish to be able to relinquish control to someone I trust and care about--to allow them to find restitution by punishing me as they wish--as long and hard as they think appropriate. I can never truly give control to another unless the situation is sincere. Additionally, being submissive to someone you share trust with places you in a safe and loving womb-like relationship--if it weren't, there wouldn't be trust to begin with.
...and that works both ways: for someone to willingly accept and submit to your sincere punishment--especially when physical and emotional pain or trauma are involved (with the risk of even more of both)--they must share both trust and love with you. Perhaps this is why I am now a switch. I long for both versions (I am truly a Libra, needing balance in all things). I wish to submit wholly, but I also have a natural tendency to dominate, and to have someone freely submit to me--to my love, and care, and discipline.
There are, of course, many other aspects to all of this (i.e. part of my erotic fascination with spanking women is an underlying fetish for the beauty of women's bottoms; and my own bottom is sensually sensitive, causing me to sexually desire nearly any feminine attention there). There will never be simple answers to any of this, or I would have nothing interesting to write about.