It's the end of the year as we know it...

I can't believe it's been almost FOUR months since I've written a post.  The sad thing is I have very little reason.  I could make many excuses, but the three really significant ones are these:

Firstly, I had a very busy "Christmas Season" in my survival job (high-volume catering), that began in the beginning of October, and came to a head the first few weeks of December (at one point mid-December I worked 80 hours in 8 consecutive days, from which I've almost recovered).  When I wasn't at work, I was utterly exhausted.

Secondly, my roommate acquired a kitten sometime in September.  She'd never had a pet before, and I am a consummate "Cat Person", so I try to spend as much time with the Little Monster as I can, especially since my roommate spends little time with him.

And thirdly--the primary reason I've neglected to write anything in this blog--I've become entirely addicted to tumblr.  Anytime I sit down at my computer, I end up there, laboriously searching through an enormous magnitude of beauty, humor, eroticism, and depravity.  There is so much to see that I find myself lost, much later realizing time has enthusiastically slipped by unnoticed.

Now the hour is late, and I'm trying to reestablish both sleeping and waking hours for myself since work has ceased, so I'm signing off before I begin typing utter gibberish; but I will be back soon... (SEE?  I almost typed "anon"!).  In the meantime, I have "reposted" my absolute favorite photos on my own tumblr account, and I welcome your attention there!


http://profundity-n-profanity.tumblr.com/archive   (This is a link, but blogspot won't let me make it any more visible...just click it!)


In the immortal words of The Terminator, "I'll be back!"

Movie Quote

I am a huuuuuuuge fan of Netflix.  Before its inception, I payed enough in Blockbuster late fees to open up my own video store--most often because the employees didn't bother to check in my returns before the system automatically notated them as "late".  I did a celebratory dance--complete with a bonfire, loin cloth, and tribal markings--the day I joined Netflix.

Okay...maybe I'm exaggerating, but I'm sure I at least wiggled with glee.

ANYWAY...

My latest Netflix DVD (I still do the DVD's; no streaming) was "R.I.P.D."  It was a decent movie--part "Men In Black", part "Ghost", part any-comical-cop-movie-you've-ever-seen.  I'm a fan of Ryan Reynolds; I usually like him, even when I don't like a movie in which he appears.  Alternatively, I'm not much of an acolyte for Jeff Bridges--on this occasion, he (not quite sincerely) plays an Old-Western lawman, speaking unclearly, with something of a speech impediment (in an attempt to depict a colloquial twang).  He does, however utter one line that ignited my fascination.  Somewhat off-the-cuff, he implies that Reynolds's character has just incurred "Total humiliation.  Pants-down spankin' at the supermarket."

It was some time before I could release that image:  the idea of witnessing someone else's, or  having a loving, maternal figure actually bare my bottom for a punishment spanking in the middle of such a public venue.  The juxtaposition of this personally humiliating experience, taking place as a situation that is not uncommon--observed by surrounding patrons, yet not demanding everyone's attention, being a commonplace occurrence (as the flippant delivery of the dialogue suggested...and as my own limited memory of such childhood actualities indicates). The subsequent emotional cliff-diving created by both the continued shopping with a burning behind and tear-streaked face, and the now poignant awareness that others around know what just happened.

The entire scenario is decidedly delicious to me and my spanking aesthetic.  Even now, I long not only for such a sincere eventuality, but the innocence to fully experience it.

A boy can dream, right?

Burning

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The Collection: Update #2

I'm cleaning my room.


That may seem like a normal, everyday comment, but in my case, it's an intense statement.  I live in New York City.  For those of you who've not lived in a similar metropolis, that most often means my living space is minuscule!  By nature, I am a collector, and have been my entire life.......which means I have a great deal of STUFF.  I am not a slob, and I am very good at making things fit, but I tend to have 85,000 projects started or lined up, leaving me with random-seeming piles of stuff in my bedroom.  Several of my current, piled-up projects are specifically for this blog.  Finally, one will be completed.

Thus, here is the latest update to "The Collection", beginning with my two Cane-iac paddles I've discussed before:


 Double Leather Strap


Length:  15" (9" strap, 6"handle)
Width:  2"
Thickness:  1/4" (each leather strap)

 

Fairly heavy and flexible, with a rubber-covered handle, that fits perfectly and comfortably in my hand (an upcoming story will tell you how important that can be).

 






 
Red Rubber Paddle 

Length:  12 1/2" (6 1/4" paddle, 6 1/4" handle)

Width:  3"

Thickness:  1/2"

Finely grainy on one side, and roughly grainy on the other, with eight 1"x1" raised squares.  Very flexible, and heavy.  This paddle has the same handle as the strap.

Paint Stirrer

Length:  14"

Width:  1 1/16th"

Thickness:  1/8th"

This is a very light, wooden paint stirrer that I recently used while painting my new roommate's bedroom.  Unfortunately I was using water-based paint--the ideal would be latex paint, the remainder of which would not only protect this toy from breaking, but would also add quite a bit of sting!

Medium Wooden Spoon

Length:  11 3/4" (4" long bowl)

Width:  2 3/4" (at widest)

This is a  thick, wide, bamboo spoon that I burned during a cooking experiment, so it has become a permanent part of "The Collection".  It has a significant curve on both sides of the bowl, giving a different feeling depending on which way you face the spoon while spanking.  It has a wide handle, for easy grip (again, that story still to come).

Paddle-Ball

Length:  9"

Width:  4 1/8th" (at widest)

 1" rubber ball attached

Remember these?  I'm sure a great many of these toys were commandeered by parents in their heyday.  This one is not as thick as the one I had as a kid, but it's still a fun "toy" to have...for nostalgic reasons...yeah... 

Speaking of nostalgia, here's a little comic by Homer Provence; a cartoonist, who lived from 1919-1975, and made a number of spanking-themed comics.

Rubber Tube

 Length:  42"

 Diameter:  1/2"

 Rubber Width:  1/16th"

This is a hollow rubber tube, with both weight and flexibility.  It's also a little stretchy, so it would leave some lovely, stinging marks.  I just need to make some kind of handle for it, keeping the end as a loop.

 This last addition to my spanking treasure trove is a set of stools I purchased, mainly with spanking in mind.  I love the idea of placing a recalcitrant young lady on her recently reddened rump for a lengthy corner-time.  I like seeing lovely bare bottoms in sitting positions, and I would enjoy the view even more to see the red flames licking the smarting cheeks of a sassy lass as she sits on a solid surface.

 

With that in mind, I kept my eyes open for an opportunity to find a stool that would serve this purpose, and I ended up finding a set of three...on sale!  I haven't put them together yet (I don't really have space for them at the moment, especially having no-one to place on them), but here they are:

 

Saddle Stools

29" H x 17.5" W x 14.5" D

Rubberwood, with a dark chestnut finish, and a slight curve, which would allow more sore surface to sit.  They are tall, with crossbars, so whoever is seated cannot put their feet on the  ground, but will have to bear full burden on their burning bare bottom.

Those are all of my new toys (for now).  Unfortunately, they are all feeling neglected, sitting in a drawer.  Won't someone volunteer to help me give some attention to these poor, lonely delights?

;)

Shock!

I am still in shock!  The ever-lovely Audrey Knight wrote to me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently, about two weeks ago (thank you, "smart" phone, for not letting me know), Ms. Knight sent me an email, sweetly thanking me for my blog post about her.  I just made an attempt to write back, but as predicted, my brain was going in too many directions, and I probably sent her an unintelligible heap of syntax.  I am so flattered, so enormously blown away that she even took the time to write to me--let alone the fact that my crush on her has now grown even more!

Although I've always, since my discovery of the spanking world on the internet, enjoyed her work (and her incredible eyes), my adoration for her was really established while reading the blog in which she was writing.  She was eloquent, intelligent, and sincere.  Through her writing, she displayed some of who she is, and it was that someone I came to venerate.

The mind is like outer space--immeasurably vast, with innumerable different objects moving through it.  Each planet, each orb flying through is a thought (as happens in space, those thoughts are often orbiting a single idea, and there are countless "solar systems" of ideas).  On each one of these thought-spheres, one single grain of sand is a word we use to try to represent that planet-sized thought.  Because of this, the words we choose are both vastly important, and pitifully insignificant.  This is the reason we never completely know what others are trying to say.  We communicate more through our empathy & telepathy, using the words as guidelines.

Because of this, I have great admiration for those who can convey meaning with words.  Writing is, unfortunately, becoming less and less prevalent of a skill in our society, worldwide.

SO...

Brava, my dear Ms. Knight!  I hope you know that it is not just your wicked palm and your stunning beauty that are admirable--it is your mind and your soul even more so!

<3

(I mean, really?  Who wouldn't fall instantly in love with this girl???)

Heartbroken!

I just found out some horrible, horrible news.  I'm a bit surprised to have taken so long to learn that, sometime near the end of 2012, Audrey Knight retired from the spanking scene!!!  Apparently, Armageddon DID occur in 2012!

For some time, I've been meaning to write a post about the fact that I have an enormous crush on Audrey Knight.  I had wanted to first organize the photos & video clips that I've found of her and her work, but have yet to do so.

I have a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE crush on Audrey Knight!!!!!  Yes, I know I just wrote that, but it bears repeating.  I am devastated.  I don't get starstruck (I meet so many celebrities through work), but she's one of the very few untouchables I dream of meeting.  I'm sure my introverted self would clam up, keep me tongue tied, and eventually cause me to blurt out some unintelligible nonsense that would leave me with a lifelong embarrassment.  Even so, the opportunity to see those incredible eyes in person would literally be a dream-come-true.

If you've read my "First Spanking Story" post, you've probably figured out by now that Audrey Knight was the female character; the subject of my thoughts that inspired my fantasy.  She's probably the main reason I realized I'm a switch.  Hers are the first videos of a woman spanking men that I ever cared to watch.  I can't take my eyes off her.  I find her incredibly gorgeous--especially those big eyes!!  She's feminine, sexy, adorable, intelligent, passionate, caring, and strong--and these are just the qualities that are evident to me from what little I've seen of her on video, and especially in her writing.

I'll miss her, and I've never even met her. 

 :'(

A Quickie...

...to get the blog ball rolling again.

I've just finished watching the first season of "Ghost Whisperer".  I had seen a smattering of episodes during its five season run, and have wanted, for some time, to watch them all. 

Despite her eye-candy status, Jennifer Love-Hewitt's character, Miranda, is often very bratty in the show, and occasionally very selfish.  Clearly, she needs a good session over her husband's lap, with the household hairbrush.  Sadly, this never happens (at least in the first season)...but I can dream, can't I?

I was, however, giddily delighted during the next-to-last episode when, after her husband makes a wonderful, terrible pun, Miranda says to him, "You know what? I am gonna spank you, and hard!"

Of course my imagination went wild!!!!

I'll leave you with that image, and these:

FINALLY!

I'M BACK!!!! 

...kind of.

Sometime back in February, my dinosaur computer decided it was "too old for this shit", and crashed.  After a couple of weeks, I managed to bring it back to life, by giving it a "pacemaker"--installing a new power source.  Even then, it would wheeze and gasp to life, and pass out at random.  Finally, it truly died.  I had to order a new computer--I paid for express delivery, but the computer finally SHIPPED OUT on the day it was supposed to ARRIVE, and was checked in in Mexico the day AFTER it was supposed to be in NYC!  I finally got it, and have been desperately trying to learn windows 8.1 (having had XP for the last 10 years).  A week ago, I was finally able to take in my old hard drive, to have the info on it rescued (the old dinosaur would die every time I tried to back it up).  It took a week (rather than the 1-2 days promised), and I picked it up today.  $140 later, I have *most* of the "personal" info off the old hard drive.  Unfortunately, I have lost my entire Bookmarks list!!!!!!  I have the old Explorer list, but, apparently, I would have to upload it ONE SITE AT A TIME!!!!!!  I also lost a $600 music writing program.

....soooooo please forgive my absence, and pardon me in advance for the slow pace I will be returning to this blog.  It's going to take a while for me to get back on my virtual feet.

Cane-iac

I don't remember on which day, but my new toys arrived!!  It's been such a hellacious week that I haven't had the mental stability to write about them, so they've sat here, tauntingly, on my computer desk.

Firstly, I'd like to say what a pleasure it was to order from Cane-iac.  Their website, www.cane-iac.com, was easy to maneuver and made placing the order painless.  As I mentioned in the last post, my order was in the mail before noon the next day (how remarkable--and rare--is that???)!  They packaged their products discretely and safely--I live in New York City, where the local post offices' mottoes include, "What's in that???", "Let's hide this!", and "It may not be breakable, but we're damn sure gonna try!!"  On top of that, Cane-iac's products are both interesting and of good quality (at least so far).

The strap I ordered is beautiful.  Strappings are not my favorite type of spankings, but I can't wait to use this!!!  The sound it makes is delicious--not fake sounding; it doesn't take the place of the melody of leather meeting flesh at a rapid pace, but does enhance that stinging lullaby.  The flaps are flexible and thick, and the handle fits perfectly in my hand.

The red rubber paddle was surprising.  I was expecting a solid paddle, either of firm rubber, or covered in rubber, as is a ping-pong paddle.  Instead, it is a very flexible paddle made entirely of coarse rubber.  The flat side is grainy, and the opposite face has significant raised squares, and is even more coarse, being composed of larger rubber granules.  The most surprising thing about the paddle, though, is that it is probably my most painful paddle yet!  It's heavy and adamantly firm, even in its floppy flexibility.  It is definitely a tool to be used in a punishment spanking, rather than for fun.

All in all, I'm extremely satisfied with both process & products.  I highly recommend patronizing Cane-iac, and will be doing so again in the near future!

New Toys!!!

After years of hearing the name, I FINALLY took a look through Cane-iac.com--a website that sells spanking implements.  I was AMAZED at how inexpensive their products are!  Usually, every authentic spanking item I find is quite expensive.  I won't let myself spend large amounts of money on toys that I never get to use anyway (alas!).  Yesterday, however, I placed an order through Cane-iac.  Already, before noon today, my order was shipped!!!!  I'm eagerly awaiting my new toys:

Red Rubber Paddle

Smooth on one side, and has raised squares on the other for two different effects.  It is 3" wide, 1/2" thick and 12" long (including handle portion).

Apparently, this paddle can be put in a dishwasher.








This paddle was only NINE DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!










Also, I've been wanting to buy a strap, so I bought this one:


Leather Flapper - Double Leather Strap

it's 2 inches wide, and just over 14 inches long (including handle). The straps are separated to affect the sound of its use (I'm very into the psychology of spanking...), and this strap is supposed to be heavy.











I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THEY ARRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...Now I just need to find someone to use them on.......

(or who will use them on me.......)